The Black Von Scrolls

                                                          Jack Pierson, Listen, darling 2007

Four weeks to the hour in advance, Felix called to make a reservation for our 5th anniversary. We had gone to Eleven Madison the last 3 times, it being our favorite fine dining restaurant in the city. Last year, the resto received 4 stars from the NYT (thanks Frank Bruni) and has now become extremely difficult to book, as Felix was given the choice of a 6:00 or 10:30 table. He said no.

Then last weekend at a whisky & pork bun tasting we heard Eleven Madison had switched up their menu and removed seats from the dining room, thus causing our reservation trouble. So on the way home Felix and I decided to walk by the restaurant and speak to them directly. The staff, as always, was very nice and put us on a waiting list for a better reservation time.

Today we got a call, they found a 9:15 table. Perfect. Except wait a minute… they have become a tasting menu only affair, at $125 per person, a 30% increase from their former menu. I wouldn’t be so annoyed, if I hadn’t read this. Tasting menus depress me. Our back up plan was Gramercy Tavern, perhaps it’s not as inventive as EM, but we’re keeping that reservation instead.

We’ve been to Alinea, and to many other restaurants with tasting menus and no other choice. The last one was Blue Hill at Stone Barns, and was indeed, incredible. However, this experience is restricting. Not only are you bound to eat the exact choice of the chef, you are tied to consume more food than most people want, leaving feeling bloated and gluttonous. Menus which advertise 4-5 courses normally turn out to be 8 or 9. Chefs generously send out all kinds of palate cleansers and extra deserts. At the end of the night, only lying horizontal will do (our largest tasting menu was 20 courses, I wanted someone to shoot me after).

My other complaint is the constant interruptions throughout dinner. Fussy servers are pouncing and eyeing your table just a few feet away, there’s always someone breaking up the flow of conversation. Good service is also letting customers relax, eat and drink without being constantly present and announcing ridiculous amounts of information about each course as they arrive (ahem, Alinea). There’s an art to keeping a meal on course while servers remain in the background. That’s part of what I love about Danny Meyer restaurants, he understands the harmony of fine dining and what his customers desire. Nature was in balance, but now the new EM menu is too conceptual and the staff will need to interact more with the clientele.

I very much like fixed omakase menus at sushi restaurants, but we sit at the bar and face the chef, it’s a different experience. Japanese food and fish do not fill me up in the same way, and sake does not fill me up like wine.

For us, eating out is probably the number one thing which empties our wallets and fills our bellies. I’m always interested in unique and complimentary flavors or simply presenting food in it’s naked form (Dan Barber at Blue Hill wins in that department). Whether at home eating tomatoes on toast, or buried in a Szechuan dive in Chinatown - the topic of discussion is often food related and we share fantasies about eating destinations we have yet to discover. It’s half of our relationship, as important to me as my art, his writing, death, life, love, health care… we’re serious eaters, and fortunate ones at that.

For Eleven Madison, I hope they crack this nut and are wildly successful, but now with a $125 tasting menu as my only choice, I have little incentive to return, even if Daniel Humm is off-the-hook brilliant. Experience can trump food. I want to be impressed by my meal, relish in conversation and leave feeling sated, not a comatose stuffed goose - whether it’s $10 or $125.